PCC | Attorney- at – Law | Life Coach | Corporate Trainer | NLP Practitioner
By: Shiyara Dassanayake
When I first read Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist, I was struck not only by the beauty of Santiago’s journey but by how profoundly it mirrors the work we do as coaches and leaders. The novel is filled with moments where guides, mentors, and unexpected encounters shape Santiago’s path, but what is remarkable is how rarely these figures fix things for him. Instead, they hold presence, offer perspective, and allow him to discover his own truth.
That, to me, is at the heart of the coaching mindset: holding force without the need to fix.
From Fixing to Holding Space
I began my professional journey in two very different but equally demanding arenas — teaching communication and drama, and practicing law. For years, my role was to instruct, argue, correct, and, in many ways, “fix.” Whether it was refining a student’s performance or solving a client’s legal issue, I was trained to step in with answers.
But when I moved into coaching and leadership development, everything shifted. During my coach training, I encountered a deep sense of self-awareness that was both liberating and unsettling. I realized that the fulfillment I felt wasn’t from solving problems but from witnessing others experience their own breakthroughs.
This was not easy to accept at first. I had to confront my own habits of jumping in, offering quick solutions, or rushing to respond. One of the most difficult lessons I’ve learned is to pause, to be fully present, and to resist the urge to provide the answer.
Lessons from the Desert
In The Alchemist, Santiago meets the Englishman who is obsessed with learning the secrets of alchemy from books. The Englishman is convinced that knowledge lies in formulas, explanations, and external fixes. Santiago, on the other hand, learns through observing nature, listening, and following signs. His wisdom comes not from being given answers but from being guided toward his own awareness.
This is the essence of coaching. Clients often come to us expecting formulas or fixes. Yet, real growth happens when we guide them to observe, reflect, and connect the dots themselves. Like Santiago, they need to walk through the desert, face uncertainty, and draw meaning from their own journey.
As coaches, our task is not to carry them across the desert but to hold steady while they make the crossing.
The Leadership Parallel
Leadership often mirrors coaching in this way. A valuable lesson that isn’t often spoken about is that leadership is not about fixing people. It is about noticing — yourself and others — and creating space for growth.
The temptation to fix can come from a good place: a desire to help, to protect, or to ensure success. But fixing can rob others of their agency. When we rush in with solutions, we may solve the immediate problem but we undermine the long-term growth of the person.
Holding force, on the other hand, is about presence. It is about listening deeply, resisting judgment, and trusting that others are capable of discovering their own way forward. It is an act of faith in the human capacity for resilience and creativity.
The Practice of Presence
Of course, holding space is not an easy task. It takes strength to sit with discomfort, to resist the pull of certainty, and to let silence do its work.
In my own journey, I’ve had to cultivate practices that support this mindset. Pausing before I respond, checking in with myself when I feel the urge to “rescue” are instances where I chose curiosity over control. These small shifts build the muscle of presence.
NLP has also offered me useful tools here. Reframing helps me shift from “I must solve this” to “I can support their exploration.” Anchoring helps me ground myself in calm and curiosity before entering a session. Language awareness reminds me that how I phrase a question can either close down or open up possibilities.
Returning to the Alchemist
In the end, Santiago discovers that the treasure he sought was not hidden in some distant place but had always been within reach. His guides never handed him that truth outright. They nudged, questioned, and held him to his journey, but they allowed him to find it himself.
This is what it means to hold force without fixing. We become the wind that nudges the sails, not the hand that carries someone to shore. We hold the space with strength, trust, and presence, believing that the other person is capable of finding their own treasure.
A Closing Reflection
If you are a coach, leader, or even a parent, ask yourself:
- When do I rush in to fix, and what happens when I do?
- What shifts when I simply pause and hold presence instead?
- How might I create the kind of space where others can discover their own treasure?
The coaching mindset is not about having all the answers. It is about believing in the wisdom of the journey, just as the desert held wisdom for Santiago. And when we practice holding force without fixing, we invite others to step into their own power; to experience a transformational change.
