Certified Yoga Instructor | Transformational Life Coach | Guiding Growth & Inner Balance
By: Ann Nevatha Bernardsha
It’s half past midnight— very late to be up indeed, but here I am, lying in bed, thinking about how to start writing this article. I know what I should be writing, because I do believe I’m a good writer. If only I had figured this out earlier, you’d probably be reading the New York Times bestsellers I’ve written by now. (Haha)
Are you wondering why I’m talking to myself in a space where I’m supposed to share something useful and inspiring? Let me explain.
Most of the time, we think someone else has the answers we need—that clarity must come from outside of us, or that the solution lies with another person. I was also under the same idea, until few months ago.
A couple of months after I delivered my baby, I started having the famous illness called “identity crisis.” I kept asking myself, “Who was I before I had a baby? What were my food preferences? What do I like to wear? What was my definition of socializing? What hobbies did I enjoy?” My friends thought I was trying to digest how drastically my life had changed, while my family seemed to judge every move I made. I kept
telling myself it would get better — but for the longest time, it didn’t.
I’m a seeker for answers, so I spent a full year trying to know the “What’s” and “Why’s.” In the end I was only exhausted from my quest to find perfect answers that would make me feel 100% good. Only if there had been perfect answers to begin with.
After a less successful search, I wanted to show everyone that I am capable beyond my identity as a mother. Just 6 months postpartum, I started a yoga instructor certification course and spent all my energy trying to better myself at it. Completing it gave me joy and self-validation, and I was seen as superwoman capable of doing it all. But a few months later, I was again questioning myself. I felt I wanted to do more to be validated, so I started searching for a new job and ended up in a good organization with a balanced environment, good culture, and great people. I felt so good that I thought this was it — my quest could end. Yet it didn’t take long before I again felt I was missing something, and my search began again. That’s when I connected with a wonderful soul from Smart Quest who guided me to the coaching program at Coach Masters Academy — one transformative choice that changed my perspective and gave me something I didn’t know I needed.
I’d like to share a not-so-popular but very powerful truth I learned from my coaching program which was the answer to all my questions and surely yours too:
“We are the masters of our own story”.
Our mindset is the collection of thoughts & beliefs that shape our habits. I learned how to know myself, what my thoughts mean, how my thoughts are built, what values I hold closest, what my belief system is and many more. All this combined, the biggest reflection for me is that the answer was and is always in “ME”.
Self-awareness taught me how capable I truly am, and made me realize I don’t need anyone or anything to validate who I am. It showed me that yoga has been a sole anchor that helped me survive the best to toughest days of my life. It also taught me that motherhood is the most rewarding experience that has given me strength so powerful I feel I could shift a mountain. Had I not become a mother, I might never have discovered my passion for serving others through the beautiful art of yoga. And that passion, along
with my desire to take yoga beyond the mat, led me into my journey as a coach. Meeting wonderful mentors who support people in reaching their full potential through self-awareness and self-reflection, and being part of a changemaking community of coaches is an experience I would not trade for anything.
Now if there’s one thing I could go back and tell my past self, it’ll be “Nevatha, the answer is always in you”.
The world often teaches us to hand over our power— to let others think for us, speak for us, and even decide for us. And when we do, we give them the authority to judge, to define, and to create their own version of who we are. Slowly, we may even start believing that what they think is who we truly are. As
individuals, the work begins with us. We practice self-awareness, knowing our biases, noticing our triggers, understanding our thought patterns. And by doing so, when we stand in front of the client as a coach we stand from a place, we can support our clients in becoming the experts of their own story. And when we realize our own thoughts might be clouding their journey, we consciously step aside and let them take full ownership. Because at the end of the day, that’s what this is about. Their story. Their truth.
And that’s why I say: Self-awareness is our superpower.
