Chief Manager- Head of Private Banking at Hatton National Bank PLC
| Professional Certified Coach| Master practitioner of NLP
By: Michelle de Silva
“Sawubona” is a powerful word, that is also a Zulu greeting that means, “I SEE you!”
2 years ago, when I first learnt this word, it was in reference with Coaching presence. SEEING and responding to the whole person and not just the issue they present. It struck a chord.
What would it be like, as a Coach, if at every interaction with my client, I could offer my full attention & presence & truly say, “I SEE you!” “The whole of you!” your experiences, your passions, your pain, your strengths, your weaknesses – your future possibilities!
What would this way of being SEEN offer the client?
How would the client’s experience of being SEEN through my eyes, transform their perception? It was an intriguing thought and I was curious about its impact.
Ironically, I experienced this concept, not through a Coaching conversation, but in a room that overflowed with love. My mom & siblings along with our families all sat around the floor, as we opened our copy of a book titled, “Memories”. A book my brother Michael put together with everyone’s contribution where we hoped to capture our family history, relationships & memories so that we would know the generations that came before us, and will leave something special for the generations that come after.
As I turned the pages and read the words scripted by each one in that room, I was choked with emotion.
The passage read, “He was a simple man, with not much to offer a girl who seemingly had it all. The odds were stacked against them, and yet together they persevered. For 63 years they persevered! Nothing flashy, just simple honest perseverance & love. That’s my Ammi & Thathi.
We all knew the story of our parents. But hearing it from my brother Mario’s perspective was special. The book was full of such stories.
“She brings out the best in everyone!” wrote Michael about my little sister Melissa.
“He is a little kid at heart” wrote Melissa about my son, Milesh.
“She was always very chilled out, unless she was angry or hungry” that was for my daughter Malaika!
The room was quiet as we each absorbed the thoughts shared. For the first time, we were truly expressing out loud that we mattered very much to one another. It was wonderful to SEE each other through each other’s eyes & to BE SEEN.
The closeness & connectedness we felt at that moment had never been stronger. To SEE each other fully, from different perspectives was powerful!
That’s when I understood the term, “Sawubona”.
In today’s technology driven world, I wonder how often we truly SEE each other. Whether in the home with our loved ones, in our work places or simply on the street, we each experience the world through our own lens. Our unique experiences shape our beliefs & values that can create barriers to fully connecting.
Perhaps when we take the first step in SEEING others and making them feel like they matter, that’s how we will come to BE SEEN ourselves, and know that we matter.
Sawubona. How will you SEE those around you?
