Author: Indika Fernando
Transformational Coach | Ex-Banker | DJ
Life is an unpredictable journey, filled with moments of joy and sorrow. At times, we encounter tragedies so profound that they shake our sense of purpose. In those moments, it is easy to feel lost, as if the light guiding us forward has been extinguished.
In February 2018, I experienced one of the most heartbreaking moments of my life—carrying my father’s casket to the burial grounds. The weight of that moment was more than physical; it was the sorrow of letting go of someone who meant the world to me. As I walked, Eric Clapton’s touching words from “Tears in Heaven” echoed in my mind:
Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on,
cause I know I don’t belong here in heaven.
These lyrics spoke to my heart, capturing the mixture of pain, love, and resilience I felt. Over time, the transformative power of this song helped me refocus on my purpose and honour my father’s memory by living a meaningful life.
Eric Clapton’s iconic song, “Tears in Heaven,” emerged from his own unimaginable grief after losing his four-year-old son, Conor, in 1991. This tragedy left Clapton grappling with profound loss. Yet, amidst the despair, music became his medium for expression and healing. Collaborating with songwriter Will Jennings, Clapton channelled his emotions into a deeply personal ballad.
The song became a form of catharsis, helping Clapton reconnect with his purpose as a legendary musician and human being. This journey highlights a universal truth: expressing emotions and finding meaning in adversity can lead to profound transformation. This mirrors the essence of coaching, where individuals uncover inner resources, redefine purpose, and move forward with clarity and strength.
Does expression have power? Yes. It does. Grief and emotional turmoil often create a cloud of confusion, obscuring our sense of direction. Left unaddressed, these feelings can lead to stagnation. For Clapton, music allowed him to voice his pain and begin healing.
Similarly, coaching offers a safe space for individuals to express thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment. Through powerful questioning and active listening, a coach helps clients articulate challenges and emotions they’ve been holding inside. This act of expression often becomes the first step toward rediscovering clarity and purpose.
Can Reflection pave the path to rediscovering the purpose? The transformative power of Clapton’s journey lies in his ability to reflect on his loss and channel it into something meaningful. “Tears in Heaven” became a tribute to his son and a source of comfort for millions who had experienced loss.
In coaching, reflection plays a similarly pivotal role. Coaches encourage clients to explore their values, beliefs, and experiences, uncovering insights hidden beneath the surface. By examining these elements, individuals can realign their actions with their core purpose, even in the face of adversity.
One of the most powerful aspects of Clapton’s story is how his music created a bridge of connection with others. Fans resonated with the vulnerability and authenticity of “Tears in Heaven,” finding comfort in its message. This connection not only amplified the song’s impact but also reinforced Clapton’s sense of purpose as an artist and won him three Grammy awards.
Coaching, too, thrives on connection. A strong coach-client relationship built on trust empathy and compassion allows individuals to feel supported as they navigate challenges. This connection fosters a sense of psychological safety, enabling clients to explore their emotions and aspirations with honesty and courage. Through this process, clients gain clarity about their goals and the steps needed to achieve them.
Music and coaching share a remarkable ability to transform lives by engaging both heart and mind. Music speaks directly to our emotions, creating a space for healing and inspiration. Coaching provides the structure and guidance needed to translate these emotions into actionable steps towards growth.
When combined, these forces become even more powerful. Imagine a coaching session where music evokes emotions, sparks memories, or inspires new perspectives. For instance, a client grieving a loss might articulate their feelings more easily while listening to music that resonates with their experience. Integrating music into coaching deepens the transformative process, helping individuals move from pain to purpose with greater clarity and resilience.
Eric Clapton’s journey through grief and the creation of “Tears in Heaven” are a testament to the human capacity for transformation. His story reminds us that even in our darkest moments, we can rediscover purpose and clarity through expression, reflection, and connection. Whether through music, coaching, or a combination of both, we can find the strength to heal, grow, and inspire others.
As coaches, we have the privilege of guiding individuals on this journey. By creating a space for expression and reflection, fostering meaningful connections, and encouraging purposeful action, we help clients navigate life’s challenges and emerge stronger, clearer, and more aligned with their true selves. In doing so, we honour the transformative power of coaching—and, like Clapton’s music, create a ripple effect of healing and inspiration.
