By: Charndika Arthanayake
Transformational Coach & Yoga instructor
What if I told you that a single conversation could change the trajectory of your life?
Would you believe me?
I wouldn’t have, a few years ago.
Not until I met Mark.
Mark was a big bear of a man gentle eyed, quietly powerful, a former Royal Army veteran who had somehow found himself in the Himalayas, deep in a yogic journey. I met him in Peru, at a retreat tucked away in the sacred valley, during a time in my life when I was searching for something anything that felt like meaning.
I had packed my life into a 23kg and set off across the world on a quest to find passion, purpose, and direction my own version of Eat, Pray, Love. I believed that what I was looking for had to be out there somewhere, hidden in the vastness of the world. I chased it across continents, through experiences, across time zones. And yet, the more I searched, the further it seemed to drift.
By the time I met Mark, I was tired. I had questions, but no answers. Dreams, but no clarity. Hope, but barely holding on.
And then came that one conversation.
It wasn’t flashy. It wasn’t filled with advice or grand declarations. Mark simply listened. Not the kind of listening we’re used to, waiting for his turn to speak but true, deep listening. I spoke, and he listened with a lot of curiosity, and compassion.
The more I spoke, the more I began to hear myself.
“I tried this, but it didn’t work out.”
“I wanted to do that, but it wasn’t the right time.”
“I dreamed of doing this, but I didn’t think I’d be successful.”
Each sentence, each excuse, each fear disguised as logic it all began to unravel. And somewhere between my words and his silence, something clicked.
I realised I had been measuring my life by false starts and unfinished plans. I had been defining myself by what hadn’t worked out. But the truth was, I am not my past.
Those experiences didn’t happen to me they happened for me.
Like a lotus rising through the mud, I began to see my own reflection in the clearer waters. I saw my strength, my beauty, my resilience. And I saw, maybe for the first time, that I had been standing in my own way all along.
That single conversation didn’t give me a step-by-step guide or a five-year plan but it gave me something far more powerful: perspective.
It reminded me that my life’s meaning isn’t waiting somewhere out there to be found. It’s already within me, waiting to be remembered.
I realised that every single event, whether joyful or painful, had shaped the person I had become. A strong, courageous, capable being. I could no longer deny it I had lived through so much, grown through it all, and I was still standing.
More than that, the choice was mine.
The choice to shift my perception.
The choice to rewrite the narrative I was living.
The choice to see life through the lens of gratitude.
That day, I made a decision, to choose happiness.
Not because everything was perfect. But because I could.
With gratitude in my heart, I stepped into that choice and everything began to change.
This is the power of transformative coaching.
It’s not about advice giving or pushing someone toward a goal.
It’s about creating space.
Holding presence.
Listening so deeply that someone begins to hear themselves.
Transformational coaches use a variety of techniques observation, silence, mirroring, powerful questioning but at the core, it’s all about reflecting your light back to you.
Because often, we don’t need someone to hand us the answers.
We just need someone to help us remember that we’ve had them all along. That there is a way through every block and we have all the resources within us.
We all carry certain beliefs about who we are, shaped by our experiences, conditioning, and the voices around us. Over time, these beliefs become part of our identity. But here’s the truth, that shape is not permanent.
What if you could shift how, you see yourself?
No matter what others say, unless you see it, feel it, and believe it, it won’t resonate as truth. Real change begins within. When we shift our self-perception, our beliefs begin to shift. And as our beliefs change, so do our patterns and that’s what manifests in the world around us.
Believing in yourself is already winning half the battle. The rest is just details.
And sometimes, the most powerful change happens when you finally choose to listen to yourself.
